assassins creed odyssey making what is undoubtedly a ton of money off gay people buying the game to play as gay characters and then adding a dlc where your character ends up in a straight relationship and has a baby, unlocking the achievement “growing up” (lmao) no matter what choices you made is just *chefs kiss* video games
Marnie: Shane, please, I’m worried about you, you just mope around and drink all day. What about your future?
Shane, horrifically hungover: I don’t want a future! I want to die!
Me, standing in the corner holding an adorable cartoon watering can, under the impression until this very moment that I was playing a lighthearted farming RPG:
